Since most women enjoy funny top 10 lists almost as much as they love swapping wildly exaggerated stories about childbirth, we decided to perform a timely public service by combining these two popular sources of misinformation.
So whether you're eating for two (even though you're not pregnant), or disguising yourself as a dairy cow because you feel uncomfortable about nursing in public, we think you'll find that there's "something funny" about the following facts:
Baby Joke
+ You'll probably be happier with a female physician... especially when your breasts become much bigger than hers.
+ The difference between carrying high and carrying low is about 700 additional contractions.
+ Disregard any doula who tries to convince you that an epidural will make your ass look bigger.
+ Even your best friends will turn on you if you continue to wear a thong during your third trimester.
+ Rusty forceps remain the primary reason why water birthing has failed to gain widespread acceptance.
+ Male babies normally attach themselves to your breasts until a judge issues a restraining order.
+ Female babies lose interest in nursing as soon as they're added to your Family Calling Plan.
+ If you plan to deliver in a Catholic hospital, make sure you know their latest position on the Jaws of Life.
+ If your baby spits up a large amount of breast milk, you probably have too much tobacco juice in your system.
+ Most women who have undergone natural childbirth say it feels no worse than having a picnic table pulled through your nose.
Watch for our next funny top ten list entitled, "Top 10 Unforgivable Mistakes Husbands Should Avoid During Childbirth... and Conception."
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Funny Top 10 Lists - Funniest Facts About Having a BabySee Also : Baby Room Themes Babie Breast
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